Jennie: You are listening to Dialogically Minded. Dialogical Discourse for Second Language Learners. In this program we explore the language used in public, civil, and academic discussion for the purpose of achieving various communication goals. Good afternoon David. How are you?
David: I’m okay, but I’m not so sure about the poor man I saw on the way here. There was this salary man on the train and I guess he had been out drinking all night, then tried eating on a bad stomach because, he started getting sick right there, in the middle of the very crowded train.
Jennie: David do you mind if we talk about something else. Your story is putting me off my breakfast, but it is good example of what we’re discussing today–changing the subject.
David: Sometimes it is appropriate not only to interrupt someone, but to change the subject of discussion. There are a number of ways you can do this. One way is to directly ask that the subject be changed as Jennie just did. One situation you might want to change the subject in would be when the topic has been fully discussed, a conclusion has been reached, or for the moment there is no further reason to discuss it. In such cases, a useful phrase is go on or move on. Another case might be when the conversation is making you uncomfortable. Two phrases that you can use in this case are:
If it’s alright with you could we change the subject?
And:
If it’s all the same to you, could we please change the subject?
Let’s listen to an example. Listeners, which phrase do you hear in the following dialogue?
[2:33]
- A Test of Our Patience
[At a business meeting, some executives have just made a decision.]
Speaker 1: Well, I’m glad we got that settled. It reminds me all too much of the Whitehead account, and we all remember what a headache that was. For months after we closed the deal, the phone would not stop ringing with all their special requests. “Could you do this?” and “Could you do that?”
Speaker 2: Yes, I agree that that was a test of our patience. Well, now that we have come to a conclusion on that matter, shall we move on to the next thing on this meeting’s agenda?
Jennie: In this first dialogue, sure, the first speaker is going on a bit about things that happened in the past, but this kind of small talk at meetings is not unusual. The second speaker, presumably the person in charge, very kindly and in a friendly but businesslike manner, directed the discussion onto the next topic.
David: And what phrase did he use to do that? I hope you all heard him say: shall we move on. In the next dialogue, we’ll hear an example where the first speaker wants to change the subject, because it is inappropriate talk for meal time and to have in public.
[4:01]
- Table Talk
[At a fine French restaurant]
Judit: The food here is superb, isn’t it? Would you like some more wine?
Clancy: Sure, as long as it’s not red wine. Lately, I can’t stand the sight of red wine. Do you want to know why? It‘s all the fault of the nurse at the clinic I go to every month, the nurse who always takes my blood. Well, she’s a sadist I tell you. She has to stick the needle into my arm a dozen times before she hits the vein. I felt like a pin cushion the last time, and then she left me sitting there with blood running down my arm all and over the floor. I tell you–
Judit: If it’s all the same to you, could we please change the subject? If the color red upsets you, then perhaps you would enjoy a white wine like a Chardonnay, or a Sauvignon Blanc.
David: Alright listeners, which of the two phrases did you hear? The answer is . . . If it’s all the same to you, could we please change the subject?
Jennie: If someone ever says this to you, it probably means that what you are saying is upsetting them or putting them off their dinner.
David: Notice that we don’t say, Would you change the subject? We say If you don’t mind, could we change the subject?
Jennie: It’s a very kind phrase if you think about it. You’re asking the other person if it is okay, and you’re suggesting that changing the subject is something that you will both be doing together, and not putting all the responsibility on the other person–
David: Even though, in actuality, that’s exactly what you’re doing, and everyone knows it. You really shouldn’t use this one unless you feel strongly about it. Unlike, politely interrupting someone, which may hardly be noticed, this one will be remembered for a long time, especially by the person you say it to.
Jennie: That’s true and it can be a mood-killer, but sometimes there’s just some kinds of talk that you don’t need to hear.
David: But think about the critical disposition of being sensitive to the feelings of others. Most likely the person speaking about an inappropriate subject doesn’t mean any harm. He or she may just not know any better. There’s no reason to embarrass such a person and there are other ways to handle this kind of problem that are less memorable. For example, you can say, That reminds me . . . and then bring up a more appropriate topic. Or you can say, It’s a little off topic, but . . . and then move the conversation in different direction.
Jennie: And on that note, I think we’ve made our point, and so let’s just make this a short one.
David: Absolutely. So until next time Think Critically
Jennie: and speak dialogically.